Bill Puts Stogie Report on Hold

This is what they call the Lazy, hazy days of summer. Doesn’t get much better than this. You can sit outside any time of the day, early morning til the sun goes down and relax. I like to bring the portable radio outside and listen to it while I smoke a cigar and have coffee. When you get hungry just flip open the grill and throw some meat on it. The smell makes it even better.

You have to be careful if the wind picks up very much. I’ve had a cigar or two ruined by unruly winds. But if that’s the biggest thing I have to worry about, I’ve got it pretty good. One thing about smoking outside, you have to have a Zippo. Might not have to use it, but having it handy is a must. It’s not like when you’re in the house and can go over and light your cigar on the stove. My wife hates that, but that nice big blue flame on a gas stove, you can’t beat it. Plus it’s right next to the refrigerator so you can kill two birds with one stone.

Enough with the Hate Mail

Look Hippie, there’s a tomato for you!

Still getting hate mail. What’s wrong with people? Must be more commie lovers out there than I imagined. Fine, I’m not going to argue. Let me just say this when I’m at the Staff Meeting smoking a big fat stogie snacking high on the food chain, you will be at your Socialist Worker Party meeting kowtowing in the corner while some angry lunatic rants about the evils of Capitalism, eating your rice cakes and nut butter. Have fun jackass.

Not only am I in charge of the Letters to the Editor column but I’ve also been recruited to handle some new “items” we are got in. It’s was a major shipment and nobody was around to accept it, so it was delivered to my house. Very cool. Some of it is going to be given away in the Fall. The agreement was that if I took care of it and stored it at my house then when it came time to give it away I could do it. To my surprise the deal was struck.

So you are going to want to follow me close if you like winning free stuff. Very nice by the way. You are going to love it.

Stogie Report on Hold

I have some sad news. Stogie Report has been put up on blocks. I have no one to blame but myself. I talked everyone into making a website just like our other one just for cigars. That became Stogie Report. I was in charge of updating it every day. People would send me stories to put up and I had to go into the computer and copy the link and make a headline. It was pretty easy. Then they changed the words press thing. I guess we had modified the thing that runs it so much that when they upgraded, it didn’t work the same anymore. You couldn’t just go and click on some squares and it did most of the work for you.

Now I had to do things “manually”. For instance you have to tag stories. So if it’s about cigars you could click on cigars. Now you have to write it all in. Not that it’s that hard, but I can’t remember all the topics so I had to sit there and think about each one. Tobacco company, tobacco news, cigar company all that stuff. Tedious. Plus if you made a mistake you can’t just fix it. You have to delete it and start over. What a pain in the [expletive deleted]. Sorry, but I just got tired of doing it.

Nothing is Forever

It’s not gone forever. Maybe some day in the future it will make a comeback, but not with me at the helm. I do enough, let someone else do it. The Briar Report has plenty of cigar stories, so it really doesn’t matter. I will say this in my defense, it’s harder than it looks. Most of the stories I found are about anti-smoking, people trying to outlaw tobacco, or other things I don’t want to mention. Nobody wants to read that. It’s not like the stories are easy to find.

Of course I feel a little bad about it and I hate to let people down. All I can say is we are creating so much great stuff that it will be flowing like Niagara Falls in the near future and you won’t even care.

I suppose the best thing is to move forward and not look back. So much to do and I’m looking forward to it. I keep a sheet of paper with me when I’m outside having my stogie so I can write down any ideas that pop into my head. Like how I’m going to give away cool stuff and how I can piss off hippies.


Bill is the acting Briar Report Chief of Staff,

he is also the Managing Editor of

To reach Bill, send email to

Follow him on Twitter @StogieReport