Bill Tries Rector’s Blend

This past Saturday, during our Staff Meeting, Phil gave me some tobacco to try. It was called “Rector’s Blend” and he had gotten it from his Preacher friend. This is what he said, “take this home. Smoke it when you’re doing nothing else. Don’t be reading, watching TV or anything else, although you can have some music on. Smoke this blend and just relax. You don’t even need to be thinking about the tobacco because you’re not going to be reviewing it. Just smoke it”.

Well I don’t have to tell you that I thought I was being set up. I thought it was some kind of trick. It smelled pretty good so I agreed, but was very wary.

Didn’t give it much thought until last night when I remembered I had it. Not much was going on. It was quiet around the house. My wife was busy not doing the dishes, as usual, and I thought it would be a good time to break that out. It was still in my jacket pocket from Saturday.

There was only enough left for one bowl. I don’t have any fancy pipes, just a couple of briars and a corn cob. I took my best briar and cleaned it out real good and loaded it up. I also put the radio on.

It is definitely some kind of aromatic but not the kind where they spray crap all over it. It’s the kind where it’s an English blend but somewhere along the line something got added. Not much mind you but there was just a little bit of something going on. I don’t know how all that works, all I know is whether or not I like something, and I liked this.

I wasn’t supposed to be thinking about anything but the more I thought about not thinking about stuff, the more I thought about stuff. Know what I mean?

I ain’t never heard of Rector’s Blend before. Is that Preacher some kind of tobacco blender too? Trying not to think was sort of hypnotizing. It was impossible to tell if the tobacco was making me so relaxed or if the instructions to wait until it was quite and do nothing but smoke the pipe was doing that to me. At that time I didn’t care, it was so peaceful just the way I like it. I wish smoking my pipe was always like that.

Sure there were some tastes in the tobacco that were coming out that was impossible not to think about, but nothing distracting. Just sort of smooth.

I didn’t realize the tobacco was all gone for at least a half an hour after the pipe went out. It’s when I snapped out of it. I may have dozed off, I’m not sure. That’s what I always feared when I have read about some old schmuck that fell asleep in his chair smoking his pipe and set himself and the house on fire. It startled me, but forgetting that part, I have to say that was one of the best smokes I’ve had in a really long time.

When I talked to Phil this morning I asked him if he had any more of that Preacher blend left. He told me he didn’t but that the Preacher was going to make a video telling you how you can make your own. I’ll have Phil link to the video at the bottom of this column.

It’s funny because when I told him what happened to me when I smoked it he said that is exactly what happened to him. I have this sneaking suspicion that I’ve been tricked somehow into hypnotizing myself. Is that even possible?

Very nice, very relaxing. Thanks to the Preacher Piper and to Phil for sharing. I’m lucky in that respect. I think it was the week before during the Staff meeting when we had a tin of Frog Morton On the Town, from 2007 (I think). It was really good.

It got mentioned on the Briar Report Twitter account and I guess a few people wrote in and asked for some. That’s a tough nut. If you start sending stuff out where would it end? There isn’t enough for everyone and how do you decide who to send it to or not? Even if you wanted to, you would run out of money or tobacco at some point. This blend in particular, the Frog Morton, you can’t even get anymore. It’s not about who you send stuff to, it’s about where you have to say no and that’s hard because you don’t want to. You wish you had enough for everyone. I wouldn’t want to have to decide. I’d be happy to send people stuff, but then feel bad for the guy who almost got some.

Packages are being mailed out all the time and I don’t even know what it is or where it’s going. I suppose I’m lucky in that respect. I get to try stuff that I normally wouldn’t get. I am grateful for that.

Look what all that introspection that smoke has gotten me into! If I din’t know any better I think that Preacher actually did something to that tobacco.


Bill is the acting Briar Report Chief of Staff.

he is also the Managing Editor of

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Editors Note: The “Preacher” Bill mentions is Padre Piper. The fact that he is thinking about releasing the recipe for his Rector’s Blend is not set in stone and has not been made public. I hesitated to not edit that section out and there are no promises that Padre will make a video describing the blend.

If he does we will link to the video at a later date. For now you should subscribe to his channel and hit the notification. If he does make a video on Rector’s Blend you won’t want to miss it. Trust us, it’s worth making if he gives out the instructions. You can also find his content on the Padre Piper web page.